teArs of My heArt

Sometimes i really feel like leaving this world and join God
leaving this world might not a bad suggestion.
i have been trying so hard to fit in,
giving and forgiving,
trying to do my best,
trying to be myself,
trying to adapt,
trying to improve,
wanted happiness,
wanted love,
wanted the sense of belonging,
wanted to be pampered,
thinking how to be better in person and in everything.
but i get nothing in return.
everything is vanity.

tHe BegiNinG.

Last 2 weeks, i had a really hard
when i receive comment from peoples.
Saying i did last minute work
and i don really care bout my assignment.
i don blame them becoz i admit
i did last min work but i did finish it.
and i care about my assignment.
i had changed but u doesn't seem to acknowledge it..
i accept the criticism with open heart
and made amendments on my own working style.
but on the other hand, u doubt and
judge my capability after changing myself to adapt.
doubting and judging my ability really hurts me
and make me really mad.
this matter really disappoint me
i really don understand what make u doubt
and why u doubt my ability.
but i jus wanna say..
no one has the right's to judge and
question another person's capability in doing their job.
this is becoz u never know how good they r
b4 they do the work properly.
and u r are not qualified enough to judge
becoz u r not the boss.
I was sad and hurt b4 this
but now i understand that,
life do goes up and down.
in life it is a definite that some people likes u
and some don.
I don know why...
but i choose to think positive now.
maybe they r jus jealous or jus don like me.
or maybe some other reasons.

aDdictiVe..

Love is addictive
When u have it u will feel very happy.
When u lose it u will feel very sad.
When u r trying to adapt of losing it,
Only u yourself can help yourself.
Love is like drug..
U will get addicted to it.
May GOD strengthen those is trying to adapt of losing love.
Help ME, and everyone who need it.

nIce bUt a fAiluRe to hEr..

This is wat Dr chose over my love design.. T.T
Wat da tuu.. kolot taste.. SIENZZZZ

thE cliMb.

Every step i'm taking,
every move i make feels lost with no direction,
my faith is shackin,
but i, i gotta keep tryin,
gotta keep my head held high.
the struggles i'm facing,
the chances i'm taking,
Sometimes might knock me down but,
NO i'm not breaking,
i may not know it,
but these are the moments that,
I'm gonna remember most,
jus gotta keep going,
and i, i gotta be strong,
jus keep pushing on..

i wAs wRonG

I was wrong bout love..
love is not a tattoo.
it's jus a story written on a piece on paper using a pencil.
It can be rub away easily with eraser.
love can just stop suddenly when the writer stops writing.

i'lL kEep taT in mInd

today, monday, 8:47 p.m
you said that we have nothing in between.
that very moment,tears grow in my eyes.
but i hold back..even the phrase aches my heart deep.
its the fact that i cant accept these years.
and i finally heard from his mouth..
i'll remind myself every time when i wanna do something with, to and for u
i'll refrain myself..and u have to do the same to lessen the pain in the future.
i understand love cant be force..
i'll leave bit by bit.


i hope 2010 may comes soon..